My once husband used to say that we were "aliens." A bit abstract, I think, but it was his interpretation that we thought differently; our values were different; our insight was different. I simplify it I suppose, but I believe that we were either not good enough or too good. We could be deceiving ourselves regarding the latter, but there have been enough applause over time, enough experience, enough humility and humble pie -- for us to know who we are and what we artistically achieve. It's sort of the same as being "over qualified." That's bunk, you know. Unless you hold a PHD and apply for a job cleaning black boards. (of course if you're starving to death and that's the only available job - well, it may not be appropriate but one is certainly qualified.) I applied for a directing job at a public school; I got the job and the end result was a terrific little show. But the hiring team was suspicious when I applied; they wanted to know why I would want to work there with my "background." I made an instant decision to not be ISH (or tell them I liked the money). I told them instead not to sell themselves short; that in the dead of winter in a community that does not have an abundance of theatre opportunity, directing kids in a public school setting is a good fit for one who's directed a children's theater company. Hopefully a politically correct response.
I tend to be "politically incorrect." I don't mean that my behavior is pejorative. The definition I found: "connotes language, ideas, and behavior unconstrained by a perceived orthodoxy or by concerns about offending various groups of people for the sake of telling the truth." Sometimes it is politically incorrect to offer information that a person in authority would rather not learn from you. Sometimes it is politically incorrect to express an opinion, albeit informed, that a person in authority might interpret as a put-down. Being right and letting the other guy know that you're right is sometimes the wrong thing to do. Usually the wrong thing to do. Knowing you're good and insisting with one's behavior that the other guy recognize it, too, -- well, if that alerts his/her inadequacies --you get the picture. I do stuff like that. A lot.So I have obviously been thinking out loud here. Have been speaking recently with other artists of various art forms; all of us have shared this kind of experience. Some folks rise above it (or seem to) when they become big stars in their professions. But often they are tripped up along the way by someone whose fear of being discovered as inadequate in his/her role over-rides the star's fame and talents. Or perhaps one loses one's edge by becoming old-ish or skit-ish. The only way around this is to move on or to create a solo act that depends only upon ones self. Giving up or giving in is not an option.
That would be fool-ish!
